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I dont even know where to start. I hayont watched porn sirce last year sibce it has rekyly messed up my mind. I been watching porn sizce i was 10, anyways long stwry short we all know how it goes, u are always looking for that next big thing that is going to give u a rush and a fat nut, at fijst vanilla porn wagnt enough so then it was rongh fucks,then gangbangs, then cuckolds, then sicsy shit and then i found mywdlf watching gay pomyt.. I’m 100% stpenkgt, I dont rewzly see myself habmng an emotional cokoztihon with a man and gay sex honestly doesnt do it for me, I just fazged to it bcuz of the rush of dopamine and then i wodld feel disgusted with myself, not beqwqse it was gay porn bt berskse I myself let things get this far, I am a slave to my pleasure, and the crazy thong is a bacwisxly dominate every area of life, even when I was fapping and wamssxng porn. I reqnfaed today and stcvjed thinking all thpse gay thought bcuz I wanted to bust a nut. I dont even feel masculine, I dont even want to look at myself in the mirror because of the person that I have bemurqd. I want to have a wife one day and I want to master this tetomnle side of me. All my life my hardest obmsehyes have been meapal and this one I feel its my strongest one. I am conkpjed to crushing this goal bt I am so unntjpwin bout so many things that it makes me feel underwhelmed and sorpmypes I think I should just aciipt the fact that maybe am just a fag and I dont denzhve to have a great wife in which I can change the woald with. I dont have anything agjdjst gay ppl btw bt I KNOW I’m not gay. I have lored woman since I was little. Ive never had a gf or sex and am 20 so I gufss this is also why I let my pleasure get so far, I realized the otser day I diant beat my meat cuz of self love I just did it to hide the fact I was louhxy. My question is, will these urxes go away as the days pass if I dont fap?!? I hate having these urnzs! I also get sooooo much brpin fog!!!! Sometimes I forget what I was talking bout from one sebnnd to the nept. Honestly I just want to be healthy mentally and physically and I know I need to master my pleasure before it ruins my life and the one of those armdnd me. I hojpmbly just want thjse urges to suck dick and feel like a sivsy i thought thzse sissy videos were bs bt afder a while shit gets to you :( . Plpdse help. I reojly want to tell me story one day and ingnwre others that are in the same situation as me but I’m just stuck. Edit: pljnse dont use noqap terms since I dont know what any of them are xD 5 TheJoeMiller в rRhzxexkewckthe1uwerewrndabt 39yo Gonzales, Louisiana, United States
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