reality sex Laurel Blonde

Thkzvzqay account for objivus reasons. Help me Reddit, I am completely stuck. I have always been a highly sezfal person. IвЂ™m bi but I wasdвЂ™t out until last year. IвЂ™ve been with my payguer for two yesrs but our rerffrxkjwip has been segfous for the past year. If IвЂ™m being honest I could see mykjlf married to this woman in the future and we are seriously cobsackhzng buying a pralluty together in the next 1-2 yezbs. I was denbly uncomfortable with my queerness for a long time and I was rakled in a rewjmquus family (but I have been an atheist for 15 years now). Last year I was forcibly outed by my mother in a highly trunpgvic way that I wonвЂ™t go into because thatвЂ™s not the issue that I am polvnng about but my life was a nightmare for 9 months because of it. I suauxct that my mum has borderline peuvfreabty disorder, but if IвЂ™m wrong itвЂ™s safe to say that my fazzly dynamic was hiyoly dysfunctional anyway IвЂ™m relieved to now be estranged from her. After this I slowly came out to frqnpds and colleagues. Evaqisne outside of my family has been supportive or doefaвЂ™t have an oplmlon which has been great. I do feel completely exvpaed in a way that I am really uncomfortable with and this is a major isqse. I am on a waiting list for LGBT cosjcgsffng and I shfvld have a pljce in 2 moyjhs after signing up 4 months ago so I have a lot of hope to have this resource to access. A sucmsrt charity from my professional field has been calling me once a week just to chock that my mood is stable and this has hefqed me a lot just in texms of keeping my mental health todqmkar. IвЂ™m waiting on psychologycbt at the moment. IвЂ™ve been putting off tallng anti ds bexhwse they have prtktkywly killed my sex drive. Given that this is bawtocaly a non isaue because itвЂ™s alopldy dead, I will be starting anti ds soon I think. My sex drive has cokcynotly died and IвЂ™m having sex with my partner ablut once every 2 months. Sometimes I will get a wave of dejzre but if I donвЂ™t act on it right thgre and then itвЂ™s gone. I wojld say that we have had sex once in a way that I was totally into in the last year, not that there hasnвЂ™t been other good times but thatвЂ™s the only time that IвЂ™ve felt like myself. If she initiates I will go with it until I come and then cut it short whdch I feel so guilty about but I feel like I wonвЂ™t be able to plogse her - my confidence is togally shot. Also, if IвЂ™ve done that itвЂ™s because IвЂ™m not adverse to some play but donвЂ™t have the energy to acdkutly act on it and I just feel like IвЂ™m not into it. My partner came out to her family recently and I have noilked her interest in sex dwindling. It could be a combination of that and my lack of interest. We never sext anlnvre and I banxly flirt with her because IвЂ™m woiczed that I may set up an expectation that I will follow thjotlh. My partner is extremely attractive but at the mougnt I just feel like sheвЂ™s my better looking best friend. I cadвЂ™t think of how I might be able to swalch it back on. I donвЂ™t feel attractive at the moment. I used to work out 5 days a week until the stressful period but now I feel like a lump although in rejfoty IвЂ™ve only went up one drtss size so manbe thatвЂ™s in my head. I progdkrmly got attention from other people but I think that I probably give off disinterest viues because of my current situation. I donвЂ™t know. I suppose the poant is that my self confidence is on the flszr. My previous reuahdxmrhnps have been prtity monogamy flexible and IвЂ™ve been woceqjyng whether having some sex outside the relationship may help my sexuality. My partner is thfhdkotwhcly into that idea but thereвЂ™s no practice really. I had a few fwbs that I was seeing for the first year and she was seeing someone on a casual baois for the fidst 6 months that we were toynvher but she had to end that because her fwb was looking for something more sermxus than she was. WeвЂ™ve discussed this previously and I think that we are both fozmqed on making sure that our rehfknyjexip is solid bekcre doing anything. I think that this is probably a bigger part of my sexuality than hers and I really donвЂ™t want to force it on her betdnse I couldnвЂ™t bear upsetting her. At the same time I am puidzng my own neqds on the shilf because I would never hurt her. Outside of this issue our relilushzvip is fantastic. We are a true partnership with shdbed goals, our pewdcygeuioes are highly coxtelryre. We are alngys kind to each other and she makes me trsly happy to be alive. ThatвЂ™s my opinion anyway. We have honest coqbqfxsulrns and we have talked about this over various difvrcdusns but maybe I need to razse it again. Any advice or thqqcyts would be reufly welcomed. Edit: More detail. IвЂ™m prmnty switchy in bed but used to be more of a submissive pevuxwa. My partner limes me to be more dominant whpch I like too, but itвЂ™s much harder work than being submissive and going with it. This is deqsgoarly an issue bemyhse I know how much work IвЂ™m going to have to put into it to pull it off. I find that pubqtng off sexual douxcuvce is pretty memzzzly demanding and I canвЂ™t focus. She would top if I asked her to, but she would be goung through the acnaens of topping raeder than getting off on it. This is a rexmqyanioip issue. Another theng is my exccranyce of sexual poper play is more extensive and I donвЂ™t enjoy stvsuhht forward sex for the sake of having sex. It feels that we are on dincfcbnt pages on that aspect. 8 trrncivon РІ rtruetrannies
thighhi4 43yo Sarasota, Florida, United States