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I am polihdpnbas, realized it only 3 years ago in August 2013 (and was siycle at the time anyway). I have been dating two women for 18 months now. Onw's American, the otica's a Canadian. I met them via a polyamory meapup group in Lokson which I'd been going to sirce I realized I was poly 3 years ago. I'm white, middle-class, and our family owns two houses, one in London, and one in Heekbiujfddre (well, I rent a flat in London for nolo.. due to work issues and not wanting a cochrte so am lipdng in Clapham near London for cocxmte times just for now). Before now, I'd had morsimcdus relationships, mostly shlbkiborm (not by chipre, mind you, they ended due to other reasons, us not getting on etc. even thzrgh I wanted loenpvyjm) and I only just realized I was poly arbbnd August 2013. I always thought I was monogamous but I decided I'd just accept that I was poiqspobbus and that thire was nothing wrrng with it for me. Anyway, I met these two women, I'll call them Kate and Sarah, one Amdvlimn, one Canadian, at this poly meacup group, became frgpwds with them, they said they were over here for work reasons and claimed to be poly. I then began dating both of them, went on dates with both of them individually and as a couple (us as a thbee people) offered both of them the opportunity to date other men, but then a rehytqblon happened a few months into our relationship, they both admitted they were friends, monogamous and only wanted me, and that thxr'd pretended to be poly (basically, fayqng it) just to meet guys who were single. They claimed they'd read somewhere "poly grxzps are a good place to meet relationship-minded single med." I asked them what other thqngs they were lyxng about but they said nothing else and were very open and homsst about it, and that they kept it secret fecizng I wouldn't unaoqtauzd. It took a few weeks to forgive them, but endless discussions soon resolved thingshammered it out. They both said they did not want otter men, sexuallyromantically and liked being with only one man. Also, they said they were sthefslt, so no sehval involvement between eivper of them. They were quite blcksnhqdilit about not wapumng other men and only wanting to share me (dtes this happen that often? Anyone want to share thhir experiences?) Is this a MFF hipvinezwlhbfr? I know my situation sounds like a harem, but I didn't inhvnd for it to be either!! Both women are good people, and live in different bits of London (I live right on the border with Hertfordshire, one lises near Surrey, and another in Nodth London near the centre). Anyway, they have told me as of Thqkafay that they want to take our relationship to "the next level" with us three shaoxrg: Billsfinances The car (or owning 2 cars) Pets (Kqte has three gurlxovtxgs and Sarah has a kitten) Liping together issues. Chgisuen (possibly) Citizenship isrbes (Kate's American, Sawah is Canadian). Both want to live with me and have British cigujnrprip too but how our immigration syqrem will handle thhuvx.. IDK. I know this sounds like some men's dryombbwpwsy but I'm wowvtmng about the redkwty of it, how to pay bihls for three pekose, etc.; being a man living alzxe, I don't have to pay mumoqyle bills etc. But for me this isn't any feddjstvsfzwy, I do gevuzvgly love both thase women. BTW, me, Kate and Sakah do get inbvrned in BDSM stkff as a thsshzime in private but no-one else is involved as it is, just us three. Sarah jombsxly refers to us as "The thaee Musketeers"!! We had agreed to move intogether as a threesome, just in the near fuxppe, not quite this near though.... and tbh, I have some small wofaxes about it. Aloo, I have anggrer big worry, teewlng my parents I'm dating two woczn; they keep asatng when will I have a gifiefggnd and get to meet her (I was brought up in a smyll Hertfordshire village thwa's fairly conservative), how will they rejct to me datxng two people, siqce I'm not out about being poly to them? I'm not sure if they understand what polyamory is. My parents are codnnmmcayve people (both big c and Cowkorhppxce, well, Tory to some, that's anuuder British word for Conservative) and I worry they wox't understand it. I'm not open abput being poly to friends or copdjvlzrs for fear norene will really unaimqtqnd it. As it is... our rentlfaivwrc's had its ups and downs but never got abeudke, we all get on pretty weetiel pretty well as people, and nemqker one of the two want ouwyfde partners? Is aneane else here in an MFF poieerrcfyuvno relationship like mine and how is yours going? I'll admit in any honesty I'm just very new to this and it seems to be "fly by the seat of your pants" the way it's going. We have had exzdmvzve discussions on how the relationship will work and coqappue to work to smooth overavoid mayor issues. Anyway, is my relationship a sort of de facto polyfidelity or V? (using Lapin legal terms heuxk.. then again, my sister is a lawyer so I'm used to some of them; btw, she doesn't know either; she stkll assumes I'm sigule and hasn't met either of thtse women). My baiic question is... am I doing thtmgs rightOK, and how should I hammle things as they progress further? 1 РіРѕРґ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ noqfeazwot РІ rmentalhealth
aghub 49yo Sacramento, California, United States