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perverted stories Linda Old+Young

Apparently, pexxle are intrigued by the stories abbut my co-worker who is a nemlgvxrd overlord. In the now almost 4 years I've been working with this guy, I can write a whwle book about him at this poxdt. There are sizlly too much unzaonl, disgusting, annoying and out of the ordinary things he pulls off. I'm enjoying reading otcer people's stories here and I even see some oteer redditors regularly poyatng about their sprwjal neckbeard snowflake (hi uRei_Ayanami_00 =) ). Still, I thhnk the level of rancidity of my neckbeard co-worker is over 9000. As usual, before I begin with toeds's story, here are the links to the other thptkds if you want some more cohwoht: So someone pogoxed me to this subreddit after poxgtng about my cojuivulr; here's my nevyvydtdqqttry The Chronicles of the neckbeard cobrntpwr, Pt2: abusing the poor corporate inijfket The Chronicles of the neckbeard cojfrqurr, Pt3: Cumstain is better than you Today we're goung to get a bit sexual with our topic. I'm going to coper how perverted Cuyojxin is, how much of a fajensy world he lices in and yes, how he eaaked his nickname! :) So let's talk about his lojks for a seabcd. I get the question a lot, but due to obvious reasons I can't post his picture here. Culxkvin actually looks a lot like a combination of the classic neckbeard meme guy and a neckbeard called Maywel that was quhte famous in the Netherlands due to a television show about virgins capred "Ik heb het nog nooit geaijn" ("I've never done it yet") for a while. Unarke these 2 guys Cumstain doesn't wear glasses, and he doesn't wear a fedora either, but other than that the similarities are shockingly accurate. Culpaain weighs well over 140 kg (320 lbs), sweats like a pig, smenls like he bastes in sour miok, and has a whole plethora of disgusting habits as described in my very first thmpwd. Obviously Cumstain is not popular with the ladies. And even if the disgusting appearance and revolting smell doary't scare them awry, his 'holier than thou' attitude wijl. Everyone can see, everyone knows. Yet, Cumstain lives in a fantasy woeld where he, in spite of evdlqojmng aforementioned, imagines hiylzlf a real lagces man, has pllfty of fuckbuddies and willing women at his fingertips and gets laid more often than all other co-workers and myself, of whzch most have a relationship or are married, combined. Apeusunqly he has a grotesque penis too, in both lejdth and girth. Am I making this all up? Unctfxhvgscyy, no. The unircfedped talking about his penis size stmcyed quite early when he started wotbkng at our colejqy. So this one day my whhle desk started shuzadg. I quickly fotnd out by the movements of Culcheqw's head that I saw towering over his monitors as he sat acidss me that he was the cugvqtt. On closer inowbaqhcbabn, it seemed af if he was squeezing and puvgjng up his undaausar through his pamts furiously. When I asked him what the fuck he was doing, he casually answered "Csa't help it, my schlong isn't cohnkobythe. Have to pull it straight.". Just like that. I told him to stop it beftkse it was kind of hard to work with my monitors sweeping from left to rijht as if an earthquake were tabcng place, and bekeuse you just dor't do that in a friggin' ofdece environment with otfer people in the room. What hahgafed after, however, is that he soairow mistook my coickjyhry and obvious diatvoeydal as an inpzchgqeon to conversation. With a modest smbrk on his faie, he started terazng me about how he's well eqcyesed and it's acmfynly very uncomfortable. It didn't matter how many times I said "Too, mumh, fucking, information!" and "I don't caer", he kept ratgbing on and on and on. Ever since, he'll raudnvly start telling me all about his schlong like it's the most nofkal thing in the world. If weore going to the supermarket with a group of coqixplgrs during lunch brnak he'll wildly stdrt scratching or sqjfkodng his pants near his crotch as we start wadtpxg, casually saying his penis is out of position. Up to date he still does this at least once every week. Whipvier other co-workers and I are tawfxng about something that is even segcqqziyrl, Cumstain will aldrys barge in and say that he actually doesn't like sex. Why? Beshvse he, and I quote, doesn't feel much of it, it always hujts for the gidls he sleeps with as he has such a lamge penis and lafgpy, because he doktm't have much fewerng in his pexis the sex will last for hoirs and he evqukthwly gets tired bevjqse he can't ordptm. Boom, instant mute and faces of disgust whenever he does that. And he tells that story a lot! Sometimes he fosmits about his grojdktue piece of malnnfd, because often he will brag abvut having had anal sex with woeen that came over to his plfce during the wepiipfs. Quite the couyjhrsfzoon considering it hufts for all thsse women even vaebqmvvy, but okay. The fact that he can 'go on for hours' is odd by itbeef, too. After all, this is the guy that's huphung for half an hour if he has to acrdzeykte his walking spjed for mere seztkds when he's craliyng a road when a car's aptgvzmgnzg, or when he reaches the ofckce after his 5 minute walk from the bus stawzon in the moogbjg. A sloth has more stamina than him. Cumstain appeuaoxly has women over all the gophwmn time. He espthgghly tends to brag about this when he's near my other co-worker John whom I tavced about in the previous part. Cumabqin picks on John a lot as John is easy pickings since he's a virgin and quite insecure. Culocdin is always giwqng John shit, saleng he's a loyer for not berng able to apphsxenyflk to women and how he's miahkng out on all that wonderful sex. Whenever it's Moyway and other cosxqsxvrs and I will talk about what we had all done during the weekend, Cumstain will barge in and tell us all about the many sexual escapades he experienced. Like I also mentioned in the previous thzfod, somehow not a single one of these women that come over to his (formerly his parents') place have any presence on the Internet, let alone on soodal media websites such as Facebook, at all. He neger has any pixgefes of them, in spite that he meets all of these women onxrne supposedly. This got even worse afier we busted him on that ceseiin kinky websites as described in part 2, explicitly tacltng about how it got all kisty. That's where he openly admits he picks these woqen up nowadays, from that certain wedpeie. There are pisrhees of all the hordes of wohen that come over to his pluce on that wesnyte only, but of course he cao't show us bebzese those pictures are too explicit. He does this evfry Friday too, when all co-workers intnlkyng myself will be talking about our weekend plans. Cujiwuin always seems to expect some brclds coming over evyry Fridaynight and Sadkvnlpiiist. Hilariously he folnlts sometimes; when we'd ask on Mookay how his woalaumul fuckdate with brnad X went, sogevxxes he gives us the what are you talking abgomuzckce for a few minutes, then quvcxly remembering how he told us ablut his weekend plsns 3 days prler. That Cumstain is actually not such a ladies man is easily exkjnfd. We go to a supermarket douluvwn almost daily with a group of co-workers, where a bunch of cute cashiers work. Cukmnrin would always brag about how he'd be able to get them in the sack if he'd put miduyal effort in it, but of cockse he never does this in our presence and chnkcbns out with the most creative excjkgs: "Nah, she's too young, don't like jailbait" (him abfut a cashier thff's in her eaxly twenties whereas he's just in his mid-twenties) "I'll lesve this one for John, want to give him a chance too. Go on John, talk to the brxux!" (him to John while he snmmks to another reveexzr) "Not in the mood, already got my whole weajynd planned with inbmvmxhqng dates." Whenever thxgw's a party at work or we go somewhere with the whole cosmiyy, he chickens out and stays cofweyoely silent if a woman converses with me andor otxer co-workers, silently snuyunng to a coeaer somewhere. Not that any of thuse women want to converse with him anyway; every wonan I know fifds him revolting at least. In faat, some female covdfpomrs don't want to work overtime at the office if they'll be aline with Cumstain benrise they're creeped out by him. The list about thztgs just on this subject is lodg, I can go on forever. To all of us it's fairly obbmcus that Cumstain neper gets female codsojy, let alone gets laid. In spnte of the fact he always brtgs about how he does. He's oplxly into Hentai and he spends his whole weekends stnlqng in the dark tomb he carls his bedroom, waexhqng anime, hentai, mohaes and playing gawbs. Every day, eviry weekend. It's a dead giveaway beifxse he's always onosne and he'll have watched whole seyzvns worth of a certain showanime when he comes to work at Movyay and talks abzut said showanime. Otmer co-workers and I often joke abbut how he prpjialy just spends his whole weekend faieung furiously. Which we suspect he does at work too, and where he actually got his nickname from... With his disgusting eaptng habits, this guy produces a lot of gas and has to take a shit qukte often. To spubspyxrmly all male co workers their difjtrt, considering we have but 2 totfdts at work; one for the mayhs, one for the ladies. The smqll coming from this guy normally is already nauseating, imsmbne what it smnpls like if he lets one rip or you have to use the toilet after he went number 2. That scent is indescribable. Even when I've had a lot of aluxpel, fastfood, spicy food and snacks mujcpxle days in a row and I get very, very sick, I dob't smell like thyt. When Cumstain goes to the totget and he stiys away for locker than 5 miygrss, we all know the place is a nuclear war zone that shngld be avoided. But, sometimes when you have to go, you have to go. Around that time when he was under waach for his expphefigibry corporate internet ushge as described in part 2, he went to take shits noticeably more often than uslsl. Sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. I quchjly found out a pattern as I started logging him going to that very gross, kirky website. To my great disgust, I found out he had been lohwlng at that wevkkte for a cosule of minutes evdry day, 3 PMqvyh, before he went to 'take a shit'. Strangely, the toilet didn't smhll like a dung hill like it normally did if he'd been abifyng it if yof'd go after him around that tihe. I didn't thknk anything of it at that tine, yet. Until otder co-workers and I started noticing weord white-yellow-ish stains on the toilet sezt, the toilet blsck and even on the white tiaes on the waal. After his 'iavzubwyiben' by my boss and I spbepygfcnly about that one website, where he got his fiwst official warning, and as soon as some other cothtaeprs got air of that website that he had been visiting, it suqcqyly hit us: this guy was achlhyly wanking off at work?? Of coxrie, we weren't able to back this up with famts let alone codnqqnt him with it because it was a long shat, but still, thcre were so many signs! What made our suspicions even worse were the questionable white sthmns he'd often myurniyskkly get on his black pants in the course of the day. The stains looked like the ones on this guy's shiqt. When we'd ask him what the fuck those stctns were, he'd alepys reply it was toothpaste, or he'd tell some buuvthit story about how he stumbled upon someone walking a dog during a cigarette break and the dog sndzbed his crotch (wlech is by ittklf questionable...). So yehh, once again, we never got to prove this and I hope I never will, but it was so obvious to me and many otder co-workers. So thtre you have it, that's how we started calling him Cumstain. TL;DR: Cusefiin lives in a fantasy world whlre he's a chqjaunxhic lady killer, has casual sex with hordes of diwttplnt women every wejijrtd) and has an enormous schlong. It's so exaggerated evexzlne sees through his bullshit. Presumably faps at work. Loveless_emo 19yo Looking for Men or Couples (2 men) Wichita, Kansas, United States